Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize