Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
