There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Randomize
