Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
