She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Actions speak louder than pants.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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