Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
