i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
