Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
50% drunk capacity currently
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
Randomize
