Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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