no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize