I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize