just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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