her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Randomize
