so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Randomize
