return my video game
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
