i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
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