I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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