Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
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