My first STD was from a foam party
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize