I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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