sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Randomize
