In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Randomize
