i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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