it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Bring me that man meat
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Randomize
