he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
