I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
