If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
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