My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
