btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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