I'm drive I can fine osifer
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
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