yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
