I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
