God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Randomize
