both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
