dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Randomize