i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
