these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Randomize
