you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Randomize
