I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
