I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
Randomize
