just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
