I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
