Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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