I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
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