i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
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