brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
