And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
