David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
