I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Randomize
