It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Randomize
