Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Randomize
