note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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