Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
I have demons in me.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
