at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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