So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
where does the pee come out of this thing
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Randomize
