Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
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