i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
she woke up with a sticky ear
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
