She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
