my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
