I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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