then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
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