Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Randomize