he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
