wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
Randomize
