she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
