I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Liz is crying about burritos again.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Randomize
