I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Are we still banned from the library?
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
